Sunday, 30 November 2014

Now What?

Hello Bertie, I'm glad you put your warm sweater on to come out to the barn. What are you up to this time? Oh, and you too, Timmy. What?........... No trousers, boys?

Oh, Mam! Can't you see? I'm doing solidarity with Timmy.

What do you mean by solidarity, Bertie?

Mam, don't you know what doing solidarities means? It means that because Timmy has to do hat and sweater but no trousers, so do I, to keep him company.

That may be so, but WHY doesn't Timmy have his jeans on?

He's got photos to show what happened to his jeans!

Angelina's got them.

No she hasn't, Timmy. She's not even here, she's still on holiday.

Teddy's got them.

Think again, Timmy!

LUCAS did STEAL them, he's a naughty thief boy! 

Timmy! What a horrid thing to say about poor Lucas. He's trying very hard to be a good boy now..... I think. Anyway, these are drawings, not photos, so they are not evidence.

OK, The old ladies and gentlemen stayed up while I went to bed when I was at Royal Legion to help sell poppies and they didn't find my jeans next day, so they are all gone. I had a good time there and didn't want you to know the old gentlemen stealed my pants, incase you don't let me go next time.

I'm sure he just mislaid them. He wouldn't want small boy jeans to wear. We'll ask if they have turned up when we visit next time. Oh, and, Bertie... why the hat?

Well Timmy's got one and I need one to do solidarities. And it is a very special, nice hat. I think Valentine at The Sasha Village would say it is very in vogue, or vague, or something. I LIKE it and it's mine now.

OK. But trousers or jeans must be worn, please. Oh, and I don't mean shorts, Bertie, it is very cold now.

But, if we wear longs, they get crumply round the knees, so we are saving the planet if we don't wear them!


Well, if we just wear undypants, you don't have to wash our jeans and so you don't use lots of electricity or soap powder, then the oozle zone liar doesn't get holes in it. So it saves the planet when we have bare legs. So, you see, Mam, it's O.K. if we don't wear longs because all the little animals and plants and birds are much better off.

Boys! Trousers! Now! If you want to use less electricity to lessen the likelihood of larger holes in the ozone layer, turn off the television and the computer.

Come on Timmy. She just doesn't get it that technology does good things for the planet but wearing jeans makes laundry. Then she has to use laundry powder that poisons good things and the oozle zone liar gets all raggedy and that kills bees and worms and birds and squirrels and bears and eleph...... 

Later that day....

So you've found some warm clothes, that's great. I'm pretty sure you'll be finding yourself back in your pyjamas without supper if Dada sees you climbing on the car, though.

Sh! I'm checking them out!

What are you checking out?

The people that live in Dada's car. If I climb up here, I can look through the sun roof. Oof! It's hard to climb on the slippery glass.

You better get down before you kick the class and break ...

Mam, sh! They are looking at me.

There can't be anybody in there. It isn't a big enough car for anybody to actually live in.

Well I SAW them. But they waved at me to go away and then put their pointing finger on their mouths to tell me not to tell. So, I won't tell you about them. I don't mind if you don't believe me. Mam...... Why doesn't Dada clean this green stuff off the rubber round this mirror?

Oh, that grows there because it is so damp in this area and he'd have to clean it every day in the winter if he wanted to keep it off there. It's been foggy every night for weeks and it regrows over two or three nights.

So why doesn't he do cleaning each day, then?

Well, perhaps he doesn't want to keep using detergent.

Why not?

Because it is bad for the environment if you use too much and it might kill the bees and worms and bears and squirrels and eleph....

Oh, Mam!


  1. Thank goodness Poor Lucas did not get the blame for stealing Timmy trouser! Although I am shocked that they would try to frame my poor lad! He is doing so well...well almost we won't talk about him crossing out Spain and writing Siberia on the travel case Angelina was in! Lucky I spotted it just as I handed the case to the lady in the post office!
    It's nice to see Bertie finally looking nice and warm , very cool duds says valentine, he likes the colour especially of Bertie's shirt!
    I wonder who Bertie thought was in Dada's most covered car? Maybe you'd best check around tonight It could be that old man from the legion in need of more tiny trousers!! Though goodness knows why? but you cannot tell with them old soldiers!!
    Dee xxx

    1. That should say MOSS not Most! Will I never check.. :)

  2. Very clever and fun post Jen! Loved it!

  3. Yes, I agree with Ronny, very clever indeed.....I also loved seeing those little sun tanned leggies on the boys too.....though perhaps it really is too cold now for them to be running around without any trousers on! Some of my boys are still in shorts but they have an excuse, it's not normally wet like it was recently, and their legs don't get so cold!
    Sooooo who on earth did Bertie see in the car I wonder? I'm sure there is more to this than meets the eye!
    Big hugs sharon xxxx

    1. Sh! Don't tell, but Timmy came back from the Royal Legion Home without underwear either! One wonders if a tiny pair of blue y-fronts covered in dancing teddybears will be adorning the Christmas tree there this year! Such a strange thing to lose!

    2. LOL oh my goodness! I hope those little y-fronts were clean when he lost them!!! Otherwise not a pretty sight on the Christmas tree if that is where they end up.
      I have to say though, as an Essex Girl myself, I have a small afinity with young is why many of my dolly family are lacking in the knickers department! ;)
      You can take the girl out of Essex......and all that!!! ;)

  4. Great post! Bertie is a fabulous boy!!! :) xxx

  5. You must be braver boys than me, regardless of the oozie zone liar (not sure what that is, but I think I heard something about the holes being over Australia and New Zealand) I want to keep is too cold otherwise....however, there are certain members of our family who currently want to remain anonymous who seem to be hanging around with very little clothing on!

    I wonder who you saw in the car Bertie? Hope you didn't get into big trouble for climbing on the car....

    Henry :-)